Chapter 1, Book of Ballyhoo for year of our bike 2008:

1: Welcome back fans of old, and new apostles alike. The Wreckoning is upon us, and the carnies have been unleashed onto the vehicular world as we know it. 4 months until the carpocalypse (or the end of festival season for us) and between now and then we have much work to do. As each tour is launched, new tales, trials, and tribulations unfold, and if we are lucky a new city to boot. Before I proceed however, let us pour a tinge of malted adult refreshment onto the soil in the name of our brethren in Missoula and Flagstaff…wonderful towns full of wonderful bicycles…we won’t be rolling their way this season after many years. We will continue to support their bike communities, although not with this travelling nut show…

2: In order to spread the gospel about the Bicycle, one of the greatest inventions of all time, we have found ourselves opening this season with a new addition to the list of stops…a city deeply steeped in traffic issues and congestion…a city unable to keep up with the wear and tear of street caused by vehicular usage. This city being the windiest of them all and the 3rd largest in the nation, yes ladies and gentlemen, we are talking about Chicago. Talk about a crappy place to drive…but on helluva spot to ride a bike!

3: On this 21st day of the 6th month, We were blessed by many gathered in the name of acknowledging and celebrating the possibilities of the human power over horse power. In the heart of an expansive city whose size alone tests a riders’ metal, 500 cyclists joined forces and took to the streets on our Cruise-ade. 1500 reveled in the sun and showers for all things pedal powered and good.

4: Over the course of 6 hours, we rode, we rejoiced, we imbibed, and we grew stronger. For all those rolling forth upon pedaled wings revivalated, and those new to the bike were indoctrinated…and you know it was good.

5: What have we done?!

• We raised money for West Town Bikes $11,878 to be exact. Ride on!
• We saved ourselves from dumpnation by diverting 82% of our trash from hell-fill with the help of the Illinios Recycling Association… so many people, so little trash. Ride on!
• We also committed as a city to reduce our car miles for bike miles by joining Team Wonderbike and pledging to ride 126,820 miles in the next year! thats a whole lotta pounds of CO2 not going in the air
• We got another car-free convert, Joe Marinaro who donated his 2001 Jeep Cherokee ride for a new Black Sheep commuter bike.

7: And for all of you who came properly attired and awesomely inspired… and you know who you are… many thanks and much appreciation.

Time is on our side…
Reverend C Ballyhoo, the Deacon of Freakin’, Oscar the Gashole, our angels and demons, and of course the hardest working man in showbiz, TK.

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Klunkerbell working the the camera at Tour de Fat chicago 2008!

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Here it is, highlights from the 2008 Tour de Fat in Chicago.

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This year’s inaugural Tour de Fat in Chicago was spoketacular! Check back soon for videos, pics, and the Reverend’s ramblings.

We’d love to hear from those of you who pedaled. Post your comments, links to vids, and bikefilled testimonials.

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We are still looking for volunteers to help monitor the compost-recycling stations and help fellow attendees minimize waste by sorting recyclables and compostables properly. Your friendly assistance will help the event come as close to Zero Waste as possible and be rewarded with tokens good for beer and/or food. Call me at 773-203-3453 any time to get involved. - Mike

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When my wife, Allison, told me of seeing the post on Chicagoist.com
about Tour de Fat, we were both excited for a bicycle ride with
others. It was only when we read the rest of the information that we
looked at each other with nervous excitement. We have been discussing
what life would be like without a car for some time now. Our Jeep, a
trusty and sturdy 2001 Cherokee Sport, was once our backbone. It got
me to work, it got her to nursing school and in early 2006, it helped
us find the perfect apartment in Chicago where we would be close
enough to our jobs that we could ride our bikes or walk.

My job as a UPS truck driver has me behind the wheel of a semi truck
five long nights per week, amassing more than TEN THOUSAND MILES per
month.
As I approach the morning rush hour into the city in a UPS truck, my
view of the skyline is often obscured by a ring of choking smog.
The morning drivers are ruthless, often driving over-aggressively,
cutting, weaving, riding the shoulder, flipping each other off.
The last thing I want to do after work is join this group of angry,
smog monsters.

July sees us moving into a new apartment, within walking distance to
bus stops and L stations. After the management explained the $200 a
month parking fee there, our dinner conversations have revolved
around, “what do we do with the Jeep” and “can we live vehicle free”
for the next few years… or forever.

This challenge is now reality, as we both knew the Chicago Tour de Fat
was the perfect opportunity to rid ourselves of the Jeep and accept
the full-time freedom of living without a vehicle. I am as active in
the beer community as I am in the Chicago cycling community, so seeing
New Belgium Brewing’s involvement made me even more excited. I know
about the brewery’s wind power and bicycle programs and consider
myself truly lucky when I get my hands on a bottle of La Folie!!!

Signing our Jeep over to charity and pledging to live vehicle free for
a year (oh, believe me, one is just the beginning) will hopefully
inspire others in Chicago and other cities to do the same. I look
forward to being a “spokes man” and am excited to keep in touch and
plan on immediately starting a blog to publicly document my adventures
in “vehiclelessness”. It is a win, win, win situation, as we will be
helping a worthy cause, stop adding to that smog cloud and reap the
benefits both physically and mentally from bicycling!!!

I will be the proudest (and safest) bicyclist on the streets of
Chicago on a handbuilt Black Sheep Commuter, showing Chicago (and
beyond) that living vehicle free can be a reality.

Maybe someday, that smog cloud will disappear.

Cheers
Joe M.

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Alright everyone it’s time to download the docs you will need for Tour de Fat Chicago!

You’re going to need to download and sign the Waiver (PDF). Don’t forget to bring this bad boy with you to the event.

Where am I, and where are we going? This Map (PDF) will give you a clue.

Ride On!

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Join the enlightened and em-pedel-powered souls that traded their gas-chuggin’ vehicles in favor of the far superior and eco-lovin’ bicycle.

How?

Watch this. Get inspired. And YOU could be among these coveted spokes models.

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CHICAGO TOUR DE FAT
Palmer Square Park at the corner of Palmer & Kedzie

9:00am
BIKE CRUISE-ADE REGISTRATION BEGINS

10:00am
BIKE PARADE DEPARTS

11:00am-11:30am
RIDERS RETURN FROM BIKE PARADE, HUNKER DOWN, TAP THE KEGS AND
LET THE REVIVALATION BEGIN

11:00am-11:30am (Revival Stage)
WELCOME ANNOUNCEMENTS, HOUSE RULES, and INTRODUCTIONS

11:30am-12:00pm (Revival Stage)
ACT 1: “SLOW DOWN or THROW DOWN”: Annual Slow Ride Competition

12:00pm-12:20pm
SIDE SHOW #1

12:20pm-1:30pm (Music Stage)
1st BAND: PAPERBIRD

1:30pm-2:00pm (Revival Stage)
ACT 2: “Carpocalypse Now”: Funeral Procession and Interpretive Dance Exorcism and Contest

2:00pm-2:30pm
SIDE SHOW #2:

2:40pm-3:25pm (Music Stage)
2nd BAND: Mucca Pazza

3:30pm-4:00pm (Revival Stage)
ACT 3: “Would you Trade Your Car for a Bike?”

4:00pm Curtain closes

Don’t know what to expect? Here’s a glimpse of our hometown Tour de Fat and the Reverend Ballyhoo himself:

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